Lots of Rambling Loki Stuff.

 I will lay in my sorrow, covered in the heavy blanket of memory.
He comes softly then, a slight psychic breeze like the swooshing of a long jacket.
Closer and closer He will come, till we are nose to nose, face to face.
He seeps inside my skin, through my bones, and into my heart. His ethereal  form seeks out all the broken places.....
 All the dirty little fuck-holes of reality hidden inside of me.
The leaden pieces of my soul are made golden in His gnostic illumination of my Form and Function.
He transforms that which I feel into that which I understand.

The above rambling is something I wrote several days ago. It's hard to open up about spiritual things for me. I can channel "divine rage" all day long, but when it comes to feeling other feelings.....it's not my forte. I've gotten along pretty well in life by being a quick witted cunt. It's a wonderful survival skill, up to a point.

But sometimes you just feel like a Negative Nancy. Everything looks super-bullshitty all the time. I mean, ALL THE TIME. I can list the things I hate easily....society, politics, religious fervor, Hiddleson and Co., irrational people and their irrational belief structures, the healthcare system, the new healthcare system, the concept of having a president in the first place, the way money is used to exploit damn near everything....I could go on for hours.

 But to talk about what I love, that is like trying to speak with a ball gag in my mouth. I know for sure there are three things, in this order, that matter to me in life. My husband. Loki. My cats. And most all things and activities associated with them.

I love Loki. I want to be clear about that. I am not his wife, nor would I care to be. I need human contact in a relationship. I am not chosen or special or anything other than Myself. Gods do not battle for my soul, they tend not to rape me, and they rarely ask me for anything other than a few acts of goodwill to my fellow man, a few sips of booze, and a good conversation. I am not your super duper class A spirit worker. What I am is a damn fine occultist. I am a person who prides herself on a neatly crafted blend of logic and mysticism. I can divine like a mother-fucker, because I rarely let my own beliefs and opinions color a reading. I can sigilize a sentence like nobody's business.

I accept that it may well be all in my head, and I just don't give a crap if it is. Because it works. It happens. He talks and sashays and pouts around my house quite frequently. If it's a hallucination, then oh the fuck well. If I experience it, then it is real is some sense, and how the hell do you tell if gods are "real" in the first place? If I ask Loki "how do I know you're real" all I'll get is "how do you know you're real?". How DO I know I'm real? Sigh.......He loves nothing more than to make me question ALL THE THINGS.

The Hey Nonny Nonny Song

Have you seen the sheep,
Looking so sweet,
Dressed in the Wolf-Sire's clothing?
I saw the sheep,
Mild and meek,
Full up with fear and self loathing.

Every good sheep, will long for his shepherd
Someone to guide him, to keep him tethered
Tied to the dualistic, masochistic, atavistic
Hey nonny nonny nonny hey, oh
Hey nonny nonny nonny hey, oh.

Have you seen the sheep,
Oh, how they creep,
Down on their knees for their Master. 
I saw the sheep,
Blind and asleep,
Deaf to My voice and My laughter

Every good sheep will long for his shepherd,
Some one to guide him, to keep him tethered
Tied to the catechistic, formalistic, egotistic,
Hey nonny nonny nonny, hey, oh
Hey nonny nonny nonny hey, oh


Have you seen the sheep,
Out in the pasture.
Have you seen them weep,
Crying for their Master.
I have seen the sheep,
Grazing in the pasture.
I have seen the sheep, my dear,
But I am not their Master.
Hey nonny nonny nonny hey, oh.
Hey, nonny nonny, nonny hey, oh.

Ah, the month of Loki blogging. Oh, how deeply meaningful and spiritual and great and all that jazz. I do say, ladies, down on those knees and adore me with thy lips. And throat. Maybe a little hand action. I'll even pull your hair and call you my dirty little cum puppet, should that be your fancy. But dear sweet baby Jesus, DO NOT FUCKING WORSHIP ME. Remember Fimafeng? He was soooo quick to serve, and what was his fate then? Fucking servile sheep. Hang out with me, talk to me, get to know me a little. Get me drunk, get me stoned, get me off. Cram your minds with factual knowledge about your reality in my name and honor. And most of all, dear "ladies", GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE KITCHEN. Yeah, I went there. Make me a sandwich while you're at it. Stop sanitizing me. Stop making me a saint, a savior, some remote object you mutter praise for but refuse to look at clearly.  Accept all of me, as I accept all of you. 

Eine Kleine Rokk Musik

Well, I am oddly pleased with the title of this post, I'll be honest. I feel really fucking witty right now. Anyway, I am bored and taking a rest after doing a load of dishes, so I thought I'd compile a short list of music I'd associate with Angrboda .  There's only three so far, but that's just all I can think of at the moment.

First up, Roisin Murphy's Ramalama. It is a my go-to "song about taking hearts out of people".
It's got a great beat, of course.

The next video is Paloma Faith's Do You Want The Truth or Something Beautiful? Reminds me of Her and Loki. Also, I think this is the closest to what Angrboda looks like to me.

Gotye "Hearts a Mess". I am going to post the lyrics under the video. To me, it could be a song from Loki to Gullveig.

Pick apart
The pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

You have lost
Too much love
To fear, doubt and distrust
Its not enough
You just threw away the key
To your heart

You don't get burned
Cause nothing gets through
It makes it easier
Easier on you
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see

Love ain't fair
So there you are
My love

Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you can't live like this

Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you, you cant't live like this

Your heart's a mess
You won't admit to it
It makes no sense
But I'm desperate to connect
And you cant't live like this

Love ain't safe
You won't get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don't wanna waste my love
__________________________

You don't have to own the pain

You don't have to live this life in shame

You don't have to mend your heart

You never really broke it, you just took it apart.

You don't have to say my name

You don't have to tell anyone I came

But, you really shouldn't  dim your light

It's your only weapon in this war that you fight,

Inside your head.

 Well, I can make you golden

As the world turns slowly

to lead.

Somewhere in the Interwebs:

CaviezelBride: OMG ya'all. I went to Passion of the Christ yesterday! IT WAS AWESOME. I could really feel the spirit of my Liege and Savior there. THEY WERE SO ACCURATE. I <3 Jim Caviezel. Mmmm...what a hottie!

JesusHChrist4Life: Just glued a picture of Him (Jim) on the face of my crucifix. NOW it REALLY looks just like Jesus!!!!! Yay!!!!

(Is this terrifying you yet?)

What if the god in question was a god you actually liked? And what if the movie in question wasn't a Christian snuff film, but instead a hugely popular comic franchise? I "marvel" at the newest trends in paganism these days.

Remember that bumper sticker "Dear God, save me from your followers." ? I can relate. >_< This post would be a lot more ranting, but I'm feeling nice and will leave it at that.

Three Awesome "Diet" Recipes

Cheesecake replacement therapy:

one cup Fage 2% greek yogurt or any other brand of
Greek yogurt that is all natural, very thick, and free of added thickening agents
honey, preferably local

pure vanilla extract

small lemon wedge

whole grain cereal, I use Uncle Sam cereal.






Stir honey into yogurt, to taste. Add a squirt of lemon and a dash of vanilla. Swirl a bit more honey on top. Top with cereal. Eat. Should have only 4 grams of fat. You can use non fat yogurt as well, it just won't be quite as creamy in mouthfeel.


No Guilt Enchiladas:

Sauce:

3/4 lb. tomatillos - peeled, rinsed and diced
one can green chiles
4 cloves garlic
1 hot pepper of your choice
large handful of chopped fresh cilantro
juice of about half a lime
salt to taste

Process for sauce: Put in bowl and puree with immersion blender or put in normal blender and puree till smooth

Enchilada Filling:

One large sweet potato, peeled and diced
One small onion, diced
Four to five cloves garlic, roughly chopped
one ear of fresh corn, corn removed from cob
once can drained and rinsed black beans
one can of tomatoes with green chiles (i use Kroger's
roasted tomatoes, salsa-style)

Red Powder:
Toast one dried red chile of you choice, seeds included, plus cumin seeds in a skillet. Grind in a coffee or herb grinder. Add smoked paprika or regular paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne to taste. Alternatively, you can buy powdered ancho chile and cumin, however they will not taste as fresh as toasting and grinding it at home.

Start everything but the beans and tomatoes in a large skillet with just enough vegetable oil so they don't stick. Season with red powder. Cook on medium heat till onions soften and caramelize and potatoes are mostly cooked through. Add the can of tomatoes, simmer until liquid evaporates. Taste and add more red powder if needed.  Add a pinch of salt as well. Maybe some ghost chile sauce if you are brave. Gently stir in rinsed beans.

To assemble enchiladas:

I make them more like a lasagna then traditional rolled enchiladas, because they just end up falling apart when you serve them rolled.

In a good sized casserole pan, put down a layer of corn tortillas. Then spread some sauce to cover. Add potato and bean filling. Measure out 4 servings of Mexican blend cheese. Add one serving to this layer. Continue to layer this way, using your last serving of cheese to top the casserole. Bake at 400 till top is lightly browned and melty. Serve with a dollop of nonfat yogurt, fresh cilantro, a wedge of lime and some chopped avocado. Should feed about 4 people. We got 5 servings out of it. Even better the next day, when sauce has absorbed into the tortilla. DO NOT USE FLOUR TORTILLAS. THEY ARE AN ABOMINATION.


Orange Soup:

one butternut squash, peeled and diced
one sweet potato, peeled and diced
one orange bell pepper, diced
five carrots, peeled and diced
six cloves garlic, chopped
one onion, chopped
hot pepper of your choice, diced
garam masala seasoning or your favorite indian/curry spice blend
one box of vegetable broth
salt and pepper to taste

this is easy. put all chopped vegetables into a soup pot. add seasoning to taste, and vegetable broth. simmer until everything is cooked through. reduce the liquid a tiny bit-there should still be plenty of liquid. Use an immersion blender in the pot or blend in a traditional blender. Garnish with chopped cilantro and a dab of nonfat greek yogurt if desired.